Mojca Kumerdej: Under the surface (excerpt in English)

Under the surface

But when the little one came along, you changed, and above all you stopped looking at me the way you used to. Not anymore as a lover but as
the mother of your child. As the mother of a little one who was changing from a baby into a girl, and then more and more, I noticed, into a little woman. Every time you returned home you first hugged the little one, played with her honey-colored hair, kissed her on the cheeks, and only then was it my turn. And the first months the little one was crying, she was crying an indescribable amount, so much so that at that time I already thought something should be done. She was waking me every night with her piercing screams, and I had to keep getting up to try to silence her, while you rarely got up because you needed to have your sleep, whereas I didn’t because I was staying at home with her. In order to take care of her. In order to take care of your child. Of your favorite sweetheart, as you often put it, not even noticing how it hurt me. She knew all too well that she came first, that you loved her more than you loved me.

Translated by Laura Cuder Turk
(source: Vilenica Almanac 2006)